This installment of our weekly interview series Love, Actually , exploring the reality of women's sex lives, looks at Mary a pseudonym , 35, who has been married for more than 10 years. When they met online, unbeknownst to Mary, her future spouse struggled with being male. Several years into their marriage, her spouse came out as transgender, which helped explain some of the issues the two of them had had in the bedroom. Today, Mary's spouse identifies as a genderfluid femme, a more feminine gender identity that's not quite female. Mary's spouse uses the pronouns "they" and "them. I was raised in an evangelical Christian church and had been intentionally celibate for four years when I met my partner. Before my spouse's transition, we were having sex once every other week, and I would have liked three times a week.

Open discussion
Welcome to Reddit,
L ast September, three days before my second wedding anniversary, I sat on the couch and asked my husband the hardest question I have ever had to ask anyone: "Are you transgender? I had noticed some changes in Kyle. He had started to grow his hair out. He was doing it for charity, but then he left it that way. He'd obliged the manicurist and gotten his nails painted for the first time in the five years I've had him join me at the nail salon. He shaved his beard off without me asking and had kept it shaved for several months. These changes over the course of a summer are not significant.
Watch Next
This is a community designed to offer a safe space and supportive environment for the significant others of transgender persons. With this in mind, we have a few guidelines for posting threads and comments to this forum. Please read these guidelines prior to posting. We do require that if a transgender person is posting a new thread that it needs to be more focused on how to support their partner as this is the sub's main focus. An example would be a trans person asking how they can support their partner or looking for advice for their partner. Threads posted by a trans person only seeking support for themselves will be removed at the moderators' discretion. Pronoun choice and usage can be a very personal and touchy topic. Members of this forum are able to set their own flair. This can be as informative as you want, and can also prevent people from making assumptions about your partners' transition progress. If you notice an offensive post or comment, please click the report button immediately so that the mods can handle it before it becomes an issue.
Two weeks later, she returned to her South Dakota home with her wife, Kendall. Just before the multiple surgical procedures that changed her spouse's sex and both partners' lives, Pam was blunt with Ken. Unlike Pam, Matthew was not startled by his spouse's wish to transition. It was a decision they made together. Today, both men, who live in Philadelphia with their three children, say they are happy with their relationship. Even their year-old daughter, Erica, insists, "It's no big deal.